Parental Alienation Is Real—And It’s Not About a Gender War

International Parental Alienation Awareness Day (April 25th)

 

By Michael Phillips

Every year on April 25th, International Parental Alienation Awareness Day passes by with too little noise. Too little compassion. And far too many misconceptions.

Some claim the term “parental alienation” is just a manipulative tool—primarily weaponized by fathers to wrest custody away from “innocent mothers.” That it’s some PR stunt cooked up by the so-called “father’s rights movement.” That to even utter the term is to be anti-woman, anti-survivor, or anti-progress.

Let me say this clearly: that’s not just wrong—it’s cruel.

Because parental alienation is not fiction. It’s not a buzzword. It’s not a conspiracy theory. It is psychological abuse. And it’s real—painfully, devastatingly real—for the parent being erased, and the child being manipulated.

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What Is Parental Alienation, Really?

At its core, parental alienation occurs when one parent—often the custodial one—actively undermines the relationship between the child and the other parent. This isn’t just badmouthing. It’s a pattern of behavior that includes:

• Blocking visitation or communication
• Making false accusations to authorities
• Coaching the child to fear or reject the other parent
• Withholding information about the child’s life
• Using guilt, shame, or manipulation to turn the child against the alienated parent

And over time, the child may internalize these messages. They may withdraw. They may act out. They may begin parroting things they don’t fully understand. And that bond—sacred and necessary between child and parent—is broken. Sometimes, permanently.

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But Isn’t This Just a Custody Tactic?

That’s one of the most harmful myths. The claim that alienation is just some excuse—especially from fathers—to “win” custody.

But tell me:
What do you call it when a father like me is kept from attending school events, medical appointments, or birthdays because of contemptuous behavior and false accusations?
What do you call it when a child, once loving and joyful with their parent, suddenly says “I don’t want to see you,” with cold detachment they couldn’t have come up with on their own?
What do you call it when a child tells you that they hate you?
What do you call it when a parent has to prove they’re not an abuser, not mentally ill, not a threat—over and over again—just to get the bare minimum of contact with their own child?

It’s not a tactic. It’s not a lie.
It’s a living hell.

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Parental Alienation Has No Gender

Despite the media narratives and Twitter battles, parental alienation doesn’t care about gender.

There are mothers who’ve lost their children to manipulative fathers.
There are fathers who’ve been vilified for years by vindictive exes.
There are grandparents, aunts, uncles, and step-parents who’ve been cut out of children’s lives because someone decided it was convenient or strategic.

To turn this into a gender war is to erase the experiences of every parent who isn’t part of the “expected” narrative.

Yes, women have long been victims in family courts.
Yes, domestic violence is real, serious, and deserves full attention.
But so does psychological abuse. So does the trauma of losing your child due to false accusations and malicious behavior. So does the weaponization of the courts.

And yes, men can be victims too.

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Groups Like “One Mom’s Battle” Get It Wrong

I’m not here to start a fight. But I am here to tell the truth.
When organizations like One Mom’s Battle paint every claim of alienation as a covert abuse tactic, they’re ignoring the real pain of countless parents who’ve done nothing wrong—except love their children and try to stay in their lives.

Their messaging implies that only mothers are ever the protective parent. That only men lie. That only fathers use the system.
And that’s not advocacy—it’s erasure. It’s harmful. It’s dishonest.

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On April 25th, Please Listen

So on this International Parental Alienation Awareness Day, I ask you:

Don’t fall for the tired narratives.
Don’t let advocacy become ideology.
Don’t pit mothers against fathers, or victims against victims.

Instead, listen to the alienated parents.
Look at the children caught in the crossfire.
Understand that parental alienation is not about gender—it’s about power, control, and loss.

And if you’ve been through it yourself—whether you’re a father, a mother, a grandparent, or a child now grown—know this:

You are not alone.
You are not crazy.
And you deserve to be heard.

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#ParentalAlienationAwarenessDay
#EndParentalAlienation
#ChildrenDeserveBothParents
#ItHappensToMomsToo
#ItHappensToDadsToo
#ThisIsNotAGenderWar